Tiger Chainsaw

Gun Review

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Before there was Red Dead Redemption, there was another glorious Western filled with cowboys, Indians, and rebels. Developed by Neversoft and published by Activision, “Gun” was released in 2005 for the PlayStation 2, Xbox, and GameCube. The semi-open world action-adventure game would offer tons of content but would the game be received well by me? We save the whore in this Gun review!

Gun Plot:

Right from the beginning, you realize this game would never be released today by the opening cinematic. Savages aka Indians run into a sandstorm and attack a group of Spanish men who are on horseback carrying crosses. The Indians kill them all with blood being splattered on a cross. LOL, I can just imagine the backlash now against depicting Native Americans.

Turns out that cross was pretty important because the entire game revolves around recovering it. Fast-Forward 300 years and you are now Colton White a veteran cowboy and hunter who teams up with his “Pa” to hunt wildlife for the local steamboat. Your dad is named Ned and he is a bit of a mystery. One day on the steamboat you guys are attacked by a mob of outlaws who are searching for something. Ned gives you a coin and tells you to go to Dodge City and find a woman named Jenny before telling you he isn’t your father. The boat gets blown up, and you wake up three days later.

After tracking down Jenny and presumably banging her, Colton heads to Empire City to find a priest who was on the steamboat who killed Ned and his whore. Turns out that the crazy priest is working for a man named Magruder who looks like a one-eyed Colonel Sanders. He’s quite insane so you won’t want to cross him. He is after the golden cross that we saw at the beginning of the game. Colton does a few missions in both Dodge City and Empire City and starts to learn his history. Turns out that he is part-Indian as his parents were slaughtered by Magrudger with Ned as his company. Ned felt so bad that he secretly adopted Colton and raised him as his own while leaving Magruder behind. Magruder has one part of the cross and the other part was on the steamboat in a safe that is now at the bottom of the river.

Colton joins a group of rebels before being captured by Magruder’s men. He escapes with the help of some Indians and sets out to find the other half of the cross before Magruder. He succeeds, but the cross is stolen from him which leads to a final confrontation with Magruder. The cross is a map to a giant cavern of gold, and Colton and Magruder face each other in the golden cavern before Colton collapses the entire place with dynamite killing Magruder in the process and leaving the cross behind.

Gun Gameplay:

Gun gives the player plenty of options for how they want to play the game. You’ll be able to select from various side missions as you build your stats up in this Western Action RPG. The game will introduce you to the world with a nice hidden tutorial on riding horses, shooting, healing, etc. There’s tons of fun to be had in Gun with the side missions ranging from hunting legendary wild animals to bounty missions, poker at the bar, and clearing out bandits from the town. All of them add stats to your overall character. You’ll increase things like health, ammo, horse riding, and hand-to-hand combat. I didn’t notice much of a difference, but I’ll take the developers at their word that the stats actually did something.

Blowing holes in your enemies are fun but what is better is the ability to choose how you do it. You can choose from rifles, pistols, shotguns, hand-to-hand weapons like a hatchet or knife, and my favorite weapon, the bow. The bow is ordinary at first, good for silently picking off cowboys but the real fun begins when you upgrade it to become a bow that shoots sticks of dynamite. There’s nothing like watching an arrow strike through the abdomen of a man running away and watching his body explode a few seconds later. My favorite is shooting dynamite at the wild horses and them running around for a few seconds before BOOM! I know, go ahead and call PETA on me.

The open world of Gun isn’t mammoth, but it’s decent for a PS2 era game. You won’t get lost much, but there’s plenty to see and do as you explore the wild west between the two main cities in the game. There are plenty of secrets to find and gold to mine. Riding a horse is a must to make trips quicker and correct me if I’m wrong, but I think there is even a fast travel option to teleport to the main mission starter.

Main missions aren’t too challenging, but they are entertaining and fun. Breaking out of the town jail was exciting, and so was pushing back a wave of MacGruder’s men when they attacked our camp. The shootouts were not very realistic, and you could get away with just running in a circle and blasting your revolver at your foes which brings the game down a few notches. You do have access to something similar to what you’d find in Red Dead Redemption which is the slow time event with your pistol. Colton is fueled on his quest for revenge on whiskey and whores as whiskey restores your health bar. It always gave me a chuckle watching Colton swig a bottle of it to restore his health. I mention “whores” because the cowboys are always yelling about them and when they can get a “poke” in. It’s all good and fun and there was even a mission titled “Save the Whore”.

I never died during the game during my adult playthrough besides the final fight against Magruder. He is one tough S.O.B. and you need to figure out how to beat him since he is covered in armor. The key is getting the steam spouts to explode when he walks by them with dynamite. After you knock his health down he’ll climb up to a ledge where he’ll rain dynamite on you. You need to use the quick draw function to slow time down and show the dynamite near the roof of the cavern to beat him. It can be tricky and it took me a few attempts to beat him.

Magruder overall was one of the nastiest fellows in video games. He showed no remorse for killing anyone at any time and I was surprised by how ruthless he was at some point. One of the other deaths that surprised me was when Jenny (Colton’s whore) got her throat slit. I was shocked and thought she’d be part of the game in its entirety but she died only about 25 percent into the game.

Memories:
I asked for Gun for Christmas one year, and my dad ended up getting it for me. I’m not sure if I had a demo for it or if I saw commercials for it, but I was interested in it because I didn’t have any games like it. When I popped in the game for the first time my dad came into the room and was surprised by what was on screen. He said he didn’t want to buy me the game based on the cover and thought it was some type of urban gang game. He was pleasantly surprised to see that Gun was a western in the Wild West filled with rowdy cowboys. As long as I was killing Indians and soiling the sand with their blood instead of joining an inner-city gang, he was happy, haha!

For some reason, I vividly remember playing this game on New Year’s Eve with my friend Andy. He came over and we were playing it as I was too young to party for New Year’s but it was a fun time. I loved shooting the dynamite arrows at people and horses and watching them explode on the spot. I know, psychotic but fun! I beat the game when I was in middle school so I knew that it wouldn’t be difficult for me this time around.

Gun Review Score:

Gun is a fun Western experience and perhaps the best Western on the PS2. I don’t recall playing others but Gun gets the atmosphere and weapons down right. The combat is very primitive with running around in circles and shooting but that doesn’t mean that it’s not fun. Video games are about fun, and if I have it, I can look past other minor faults. Gun is on the shorter side but it does have tons of side missions to fill your time if you want to try your hand at those.

Gun scores an 8.2 out of 10.

Do you remember when Gun first came out? Did you beat the game? Did you play many side missions? What did you think of Magruder? How does it influence Red Dead Redemption? Let me know your memories and thoughts, I’d love to read the comments.

Choplifter II Review

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Choplifter is a game that has been remade and ported to many systems throughout the years since its inception in 1982 for the Apple II computer. The creator of it all was Dan Gorlin and each time it was ported his name was on the menu. A sequel to the original was finally produced in 1991 when Choplifter II was released for the Game Boy. Developed by JVC Musical Industries, and published by Beam Software the second entry in the Choplifter series saw major changes in the gameplay. Would they be positive or negative?

Choplifter II Plot:

RESCUE AND SURVIVE! That’s what your commanding officer is screaming at you through the headset or that’s at least what I imagined judging from the subtitle of Choplifter II. Since I don’t have the original case to the Game Boy version I’ll write what is on a promotional poster for Choplifter II to give you an idea of the so-called “plot”.

“Take off on dangerous rescue missions in a world on the brink of all-out global war. Hostages must be saved from a sly and sinister enemy in order to avert total chaos. Only your skill can save them now.

You command the AH 90 Commanche attack helicopter, the ultimate fighting machine. Countless weapons are at your disposal. Heli heroics and superior technology must be used wisely against the omnipresent enemy, whose goal is your destruction at any cost. 15 rescue missions must be completed in 5 different, hostile terrains. For 1 or 2 players. Choplifter II, real excitement from a powerful new force in video games.

So there you have it. You need to stop total chaos from crippling the world from an all-out war. Whoever these hostages are, they’re important.

When you beat the game you get a little end screen of the pilot giving you a thumbs up.

Choplifter II Gameplay:

As someone who spent many hours as a young child playing the Sega Master System version of Choplifter, I expected more of the same just from a toned-down aspect. I was wrong and taken back by Choplifter II. The goal is the same, rescue hostages and take them back to your base but the gameplay is fairly different. Gone however is the side-scrolling aspect of flying your choplifter solely to the left of the screen. Gone also is the need to shoot buildings to free the hostages as they run out and eagerly await your rescue. Instead, hostages are trapped on platforms that you’ll need to reach that are guarded by enemy forces and natural elements. Natural elements? That’s right, you’ll have to fend off pesky birds and bats while flying under or over rain clouds. Aside from angry nature, you’ll need to avoid the typical mounted guns that shoot in different directions, jet planes that fire missiles, and other helicopters that zoom around. There are a few tanks on the ground, falling spikes from caves, and electric bursts that you’ll need to maneuver through too. Already, Choplifter II has more enemies and unique areas than the original.

Choplifter II ditches the side-scrolling left screen and leaves the player to figure out the level for themselves. You can fly to the left or right of the screen now to seek out hostages and you’ll even go underground on numerous occasions. I didn’t know how I felt about this at first but the more that I played it the more I realized that it was for the best and added a fresh element to the series. At first, I liked the music, and I still like the main menu music but it quickly grew repetitive as there might be only three or four songs in the game and they loop. The menu was a bit silly with the title spinning like blades of a helicopter but another change from its predecessor was the password system. In Choplifter II, there are five sectors each with three levels for a total of 15 missions. These sectors are in different environments like a desert, jungle, ocean, city, and caves. Before each level, you’ll see a brief image of soldiers shooting at your choplifter.

Choplifter was fairly easy, Choplifter II, not so much. The control of the choplifter was tough to get a handle on and it was slow. There were times that I was killed because I couldn’t turn around as I wanted or I accidentally spun the choplifter around and hit something. Some areas, specifically when you are underground in the caves have very little room for error. You do have a damage meter which is a change from the one-hit-kill in the original. You’ll need it too as the caves gave me the most headaches as it was a challenge to fit into the tight caverns with enemies firing rockets all around you.

There are other weapons besides your usual gun. You can drop heavy bombs, missiles, and equip a flamethrower to plow down large trees that are in your way. These were all unique to the game and a step up from the previous version. I felt like I was cheating on the original because I wanted to dislike Choplifter II but I actually think it’s a better game despite some minor complaints. I enjoyed dropping a rope to the hostages and watching them climb up into the helicopter. Choplifter II offered a lot for the Game Boy and I was surprised that it had many improvements over the original.

Memories:
I didn’t know that Choplifter received an official sequel and as soon as I found out I quickly downloaded the game. It was tough and I struggled at times but the password system really helped once you beat a tough level. I’ll never have the nostalgic memories for Choplifter II as I do for the original but that goes to show you that Choplifter II is a quality game for it to beat the of the original despite my love for it.

Choplifter II Review Score:

Choplifter II implemented tons of new ideas that upgraded the gameplay but maintained the same familiar feel for Choplifter lovers.

Choplifter II scores a 7.0 out of 10.

Do you remember when Choplifter II first came out? Did you beat the game? Which sector was your favorite? How did it compare to the original if you had played it? Let me know your memories and thoughts, I’d love to read the comments.

Unreal Championship Review

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Do you guys remember LAN parties? Even though I never went to one there was a group of kids at my middle school who loved hosting them in the computer labs. They’d order pizza and drink energy drinks all night while gaming. Unreal Championship was built for LAN parties, it’s the ultimate party game for fans of first-person shooters especially before the Call of Duty series took off. In 2002, developers Epic Games teamed up with publisher Atari and released “Unreal Championship” for the original Xbox. How did the hectic fast-paced FPS hold up in my book?

Unreal Championship Plot:

Unreal Championship doesn’t pretend to be something it’s not. It’s a party first-person shooter. Set before your shit Fortnite that I’ve never played or PUBG, and even before Call of Duty became popular, Unreal Championship was for gamers who loved fast-paced action. These types of games often come with no story or plot but I was pleasantly surprised to see all the details that went into the character bios. At the beginning of the game, there is a short FMV with a couple of characters entering the arena before they battle. It felt very much like a WWF intro with sparks shooting everywhere, fans in the crowd going nuts, and huge hulking warriors walking near the center of the arena.

After you watch the intro you can select your team from an impressive roster of characters. There are about five or six characters from each “race” or “clan” however you want to call the groups. These clans are made from humans, genetically enhanced large humans, robots, devils, Egyptian warriors, and more. Overall there are about 35 characters to select and place on your team. Each one comes with a bio which I appreciated reading. Even if I wasn’t going to select that character I enjoyed reading about them. There was one character that made me laugh out loud. She was a really ugly woman and her bio described her as being hit with the ugly stick too many times and that she knows it. It was the type of human you won’t find in today’s video games.

Unreal Championship Gameplay:

I’ll remind you that I played this by myself so I can only speak on the single-player experience which is too bad because I think with friends this game might have scored better in my book but there are a few big flaws in this game that make it suck. My first complaint is the controls. The sensitivity of the camera view is way too quick. You might barely tap the joystick and the camera goes flying in one direction. Imagine how painful this would be to play when it’s a quick arena shooter. You can’t get a good lock on a target because you are constantly jingling the controls to find them in your view. It doesn’t matter if you are looking up or turning left your camera control absolutely sucks and it makes the game more difficult than it needs to be. As an arena shooter, I’m sure they thought they were doing the players favor with the quick camera turn but man it just doesn’t work. I really wish they would have put in the setting the ability to change how fast the view spins because that would have made a huge difference in how I viewed this game. I mentioned it would have been better with friends because at least when you play against humans they would have been stuck with the same bad controls as you would be.

Besides the character bios, there is no story which is okay I suppose as that’s not the point of the game so let’s dig into the game modes. Do you remember all the game modes in Call of Duty games for multiplayer? Many of them are in Unreal Championship. You have deathmatch which was my favorite mode and the one that I excelled in the most. You climb the ladder with your team facing seven rounds of teams. When you beat all seven rounds you’ll receive a trophy for your hard work.

Here’s another huge problem with Unreal Championship. They lock game modes until you make progress in the mode before it. That means that Capture the Flag, Double Domination, Survival, and Bombing Run are all locked. What they should have done is unlocked all of them from the start and have the first round unlocked letting the player choose which way they want to take on the modes. Unfortunately, I only beat Team Deathmatch, made it halfway through Capture The Flag, and gave up after a few tries on Double Domination. That means I never got to play Survival or Bombing Run which sucks because the latter sounds fun! You could be a God at Survival but you won’t ever play it if you suck at Capture the Flag. Just doesn’t make sense that they chose to lock them.

Memories:
Unreal Championship was one of those games I bought on eBay because I had heard of the series before and figured I’d give it a shot. I quickly realized after popping it in that it was meant for friends and lots of co-op action. Unfortunately, I have no friends and nobody likes me including my wife so I had to play this by myself. Sure, I should have played with some friends to experience the true nature of this game but as a single-player experience, I was pretty disappointed. I quickly stopped playing this game after a few days of trying to climb the ladders of game modes.

Unreal Championship Review Score:

Unreal Championship is very rough around the edges, there is some fun to be had but only with friends. The bizarre choice of locking modes and terrible camera control really hurt Unreal Championship in the end.

Unreal Championship scores a 5.1 out of 10.

Do you remember when Unreal Championship first came out? Did you spend weekends playing with your friends? Who was your favorite character and game mode to play? Did you unlock all game modes? Let me know your memories and thoughts, I’d love to read the comments.

Killer Is Dead Review

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One of the weirdest, wacky, and nods to video game cliches was released in 2013 as “Killer Is Dead” for the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. The hack-n-slash bounty hunter/gigolo escort game was developed by Grasshopper Manufacture and published by Xseed Games and was overseen by Suda51. Critics hated this game for various reasons, some had valid points while others were just crybabies. Where does my score fall and how does Killer Is Dead impact the future of video games?

Killer is Dead Plot:

Nothing about Killer is Dead is normal, and that’s okay. This game is crazy, and the plot follows suit. You play as “Mondo” a bounty hunter who has lost his memories, and had one of his arms replaced by a mechanical bioweapon. Killer Is Dead is set somewhere in the future as it gives off a huge “Cowboy Bebop” vibe right down to the cast of characters that surround Mondo. Speaking of Mondo, not only is he a bounty hunter, but he also is a part-time gigolo on the side. What a man!

Mondo and his crew consists of Bryan a big black guy who is part machine, part human that runs the bounty agency, Vivienne, a sultry superior of Mondo’s, and Mika, who is the ditzy and I put that lightly, side-kick to Mondo. Together the four of them take on bounty contracts where Mondo chases down the hits and executes them. Mondo takes down contract after contract until he receives one from a woman named “Moon River” who lived on the dark side of the moon and in an abusive relationship with a man named David before he took over the moon from her. David has been connected to other hits that Mondo has done so he takes on this contract. David escapes the first hit attempt and the rest of the game is spent discovering clues on David and his connection to Mondo. It turns out that David is the brother of Mondo who used to work for Bryan before he was infected with dark matter. The dark matter is what runs Mondo’s bioweapon arm and starts to affect Mondo who starts to lose control near the end of the game as his arm becomes too much to handle with the pain.

I’m not sure how Mondo lost his memories or his arm and I don’t care the story and characters are so great it doesn’t matter to me. Bryan found Mondo after a unicorn dropped Mondo off at Bryan’s office. I’m not making this up. Anyway, it turns out that Mika was a spy for David because he knew they’d be sending a hit after him but Mika turns out to be harmless and was just used as a spy for info. David and Mondo battle it out on the moon in the final mission with Mondo killing his brother. As his brother dies Mondo cuts off his arm that has become too much for him to handle. It also appears that Mondo wants to start his reign as the master of the moon and in the final moments of the game, Moon River is seen putting a hit on Mondo to his old agency.

Killer is Dead Gameplay:

Right from the beginning of Killer Is Dead, I knew this game was different. Not just in a weird way, but in a nod to old games. The brilliance of Killer Is Dead is that the game doesn’t take anything seriously. All the characters are laughable cliches and it knows this. Mika is so cringe-worthy, but it works for her and what the writers were trying to establish. Killer is Dead also breaks the fourth wall numerous times and admits to being a video game. I don’t care for whatever the designers were going for with the black shade over the game. At first, I thought there was a terrible glare on my tv, it was a purple haze that went over the screen but it turns out that’s how the programmers wanted the game to look! Artsy sure, but also a bit stupid.

The characters that live in Killer is Dead are all wonderful. Voice acting can at times teeter from average to poor but the personalities that were given to each character fit and add to the game. Bounties are wonderful as each mission ends with an epic boss fight that takes place in a bizarre setting. The first bounty you take on is killing Alice in a Wonderland set in a dollhouse. It was nuts and it worked together so beautifully to create an addictive and fun hack-n-slash game.

Killer is Dead isn’t difficult. I never had a game over and rarely died. The final boss took me five minutes to beat and he was one of the easiest fights of the entire game. You spend a lot of time dodging and countering but being defensive can be fun as it leads to massive damage bursts from you. I was able to beat the game in just a few short days but there are plenty of mini-games and bonus missions including the infamous gigolo missions that game critics had their panties twisted by. I went into these gigolo missions expecting the worst, imagining Mondo ripping the clothes off of busty women and taking them to pound town or the women presenting themselves in sexy positions as you mashed buttons to hump them but instead I was given a very tame minigame that I have no idea caused so much fuss. You sit with a “beauty” who is fully clothed and your goal is to sneak looks at them without being caught. You score points for looking at their face, arms, legs, chest, and thighs. When your score meter goes up you can then give them a gift. Give them enough and they’ll make some reference to going somewhere private and the screen turns white. No nudity, no women popping their tits out for gamers to ogle over, nothing offensive. The goal is to get a new weapon from the girls when they like you enough and the weapons they give can be quite useful! If you play enough bonus missions you can earn a pair of “x-ray” glasses that give you the ability to see the beauties in their underwear but still no nudity. I honestly don’t get why PC Police critics had such a problem with this.

Memories:
I bought this game with an Amazon gift card and it included the artbook. It’s super cool and I enjoy looking through it. I ignored all the bad reviews from mainstream game reviewers and stuck to my gut. In the end, I was right and I loved this game. It was also the first game I played on my 75-inch 4K tv.

Killer is Dead Review Score:

Killer is Dead is a terrific game. It has its flaws with some bad to average voice acting and questionable choices for art styles but overall this is a game that everyone should play. Video games are meant to take you away to another universe and distract you from real life. With so many games today trying to be as “real” as possible it can take the fun out of “playing” a game. Killer Is Dead is an amazing homage to old games and the ridiculousness that comes with it from the characters, plot, and gameplay. Honestly, do yourself a favor and play this game. You won’t regret it.

Killer Is Dead scores a 9.0 out of 10.

Do you remember when Killer Is Dead first came out? Were you offended by the gigolo missions? What did you think of the characters and crazy plot? Who was your favorite bounty? What other games are like this? Let me know your memories and thoughts, I’d love to read the comments.

Pangya: Fantasy Golf Review

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Golf is boring, right? Only old retired men play it! Wrong! On Pangya Island, the game of golf is a sacred ritual used to defeat evil every one hundred years as the dark lord tries to take over the world. This island is much like “Zack Island” in the Dead or Alive universe as it’s filled with anime girls with huge tits and lots of cleavage. Golf and boobs, sound nice right? That’s the world that developer and publisher “Tomy” created when they released “Pangya: Fantasy Golf” in 2009 for the PlayStation Portable. Is this game for everyone like it advertises or is it only for hardcore gamers?

Pangya Fantasy Golf Plot:

A golf game with a story? You bet! What a crazy story this is too!

This game is not as well known as I thought it would be so the character database on the interest is not very strong and unfortunately, I didn’t take notes on the characters as I played. I’ll do my best to recall the important characters and their roles in this story.

Scout – He’s the main character in the story and is the decedent of the first hero that saved Pangya Island from the dark lord. Naturally, Scout is set to walk the same steps as his ancient ancestor and defeat the dark lord by beating him in golf.

Hana – She has a crush on Scout and follows him to Pangya Island. I guess her ancestor also played a role in defeating the dark lord.

Arin – She’s a magic-user who has blue hair and big boobs. She is popular among the guys both young and old.

Uncle Bob – He’s a retired cop who likes to eat tons of fried chicken and hit on Cecelia.

Cecelia – She’s the naval officer with a few buttons missing on her top. She is good at calculations.

Kooh – I don’t know how old she is but I hope she is at least 18. She runs around in tiny underwear the entire game. She is the pirate leader looking for her long long father.

Max – He’s the super-star tennis player who has found himself on Pangya Island. He’s in it for money.

Cien – She’s second in command in the underworld as she tries to revive the dark lord. I think she can transform into a dragon too, I don’t know there was a lot going on in the story.

There are many other characters but the ones I mentioned are the ones that are involved in the story the most. You’ll play each character’s story arc to complete the overall story. Scout is the chosen one to defeat the dark lord but in order to do so, he’ll have to collect the most powerful golf clubs and balls to win. Scout defeats, Kaz who is the dark lord but the story doesn’t end there. You can play an epilogue with Kaz where you learn more about his back story including the ghost woman that follows him around. It’s his lover who he accidentally killed or sacrificed to become evil. (I think, remember I didn’t take notes so if I’m wrong, I’m wrong)

Pangya Fantasy Golf Gameplay:

Pop Quiz: What’s an albatross? You are correct if you say a bird, but like other golf terms like “birdie” and “eagle”, the albatross is an extremely rare score that you can achieve in the game of golf. Let’s say the par is a “5”, a birdie would be 4, an eagle would be 3, and an albatross would be 2! I achieved this score during Pangya: Fantasy Golf so I actually learned something about a sport that I knew for the most part, pretty well.

Pangya is a casual golf simulator much like Hot Shots Golf. This means it’s very easy to pick up and play for anyone. It doesn’t matter your skill level, you’ll likely play and have fun because the game makes it easy. You’ll be given the most beneficial club in each situation but you can switch it out as you see fit. Characters are very customizable including their clubs and balls which change the stats, some balls go further, while others control better. You can also change the outfits by unlocking them with the currency of the game “Pang”. Most outfits make the girls even skimpier.

The courses you play on are all fantasy courses with settings like snow, paradise, and lava. The game may be simple but it does offer a huge replayability factor. There is a single-player campaign and it can be challenging. It took me two months of casual playtime to beat the entire game and once you reach the halfway point of the game it begins to get challenging. A few matches or challenges I had to play five to eight times to beat it and each one can last around thirty minutes. If I lost it was mostly on my skills although there were some cheap shots by the AI, as you could almost guarantee that they would sink the putt if it was within 30 yards.

Memories:
I bought this gem on eBay as a brand new game. I was pumped to play it in the car as my wife drove us to her parents’ house but much to my dismay, the game didn’t load. I had just a black screen! I thought perhaps the disc was broken but after looking into the issue I then concluded that I needed a system update to my PSP to play it. Turns out that was just for online play and since that was long gone I was puzzled about what I was going to do. Well, it was a simple solution. My PSP is second-hand and I guess it’s not running the best anymore and I had to hold my PSP a certain way to get the game to start. It worked and I played Pangya for the next two months. It took a long time to beat it but it was worth it as I enjoyed my stay on Pangya Island discovering the characters and buying slutty outfits for my big-titted friends.

Pangya Fantasy Golf Review Score:

Pangya: Fantasy Golf was a lot of fun as a golf game with a silly story and lovable but goofy characters. I even enjoyed the opening video where they are dancing around with the credits.

This game probably isn’t popular in the U.S. but I really dug it with all the silliness and sexiness. The developers weren’t afraid to put some curves on the courses if you know what I mean. My main complaint is that some of the trick shots that they teach you through tutorials have little to no effect of how you play. I never used them and when the AI did, it didn’t help them much so it felt like it was a waste of time to learn them.

A fun game that offers tons of fun by yourself or with friends. Give Pangya: Fantasy Golf a swing if you are able, you should find yourself quickly becoming addicted to it.

Pangya: Fantasy Golf scores an 8.6 out of 10.

Do you remember when Pangya: Fantasy Golf first came out? Who was your favorite character to play as? What did you think of the story and do you wish more sports game incorporated plots like this? Did you play in the online tournaments when they were open? Let me know your memories and thoughts, I’d love to read the comments.

Gyruss Review

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If you made an arcade space shooter in the 1980s, you needed to stand out with the numerous clones. In 1988, developer Konami teamed up with publisher Ultra Games and released Gyruss for the Nintendo Entertainment System in North America. Gyruss was ported from arcades after a successful run. The game featured a unique perspective as ships flew toward the player in a cylinder as the player circled the screen. Gyruss was very popular in the 80s, but would the port hold up over 30 years later?

Gyruss Plot:

There isn’t much of a story presented in Gyruss both on-screen and in the manual. You pilot a ship that is outside the solar system traveling toward the Sun. Your goal is to reach the Sun and take out “savage Genghis Khan” according to the manual. Besides him, you’ll take down plenty of other starships and weird objects as you make your way through the solar system. I don’t care for this as I need a general plot for my video games, I wish there was some type of story or little blurb about the evil forces you are facing. In the end, after defeating Genghis Khan, your ship flies around the Sun and the text “The Universe is at Peace Now” comes onto the screen.

Lame!

Gyruss Gameplay:

I’ve played many shooters while starting my retro video game blog, some were great, others were very boring or lacked exciting gameplay. Gyruss separates itself right away by the way your ship controls. The game is presented in a tube-like cylinder meaning enemies will fly in from the sides of the screen and start to get smaller as they reach the center of the screen. They will hang out there for a bit before flying up again appearing larger as they get closer. This was pretty impressive and cool to see in the shooter as I hadn’t seen it before. The programmers did a good job with the background too as the stars flashed different colors like blue or purple as they flew by your ship making it look like you battled in “hyperspace” from Star Wars.

The goal in Gyruss is to get your ship to the center of the solar system which would be the Sun! You begin by the planet Pluto (remember when it was a planet?) and start working your way to the center. You will have three stages before making the “jump” to the next planet with a bonus stage acting as a fourth stage. Stages take about a minute to complete with some of the tougher ones that have bosses taking longer. Each time you travel to a new planet you are presented with a map on the screen as your ship flies to the next. It’s cool and I’m glad they included it to make the game seem like you are going somewhere and not just flying through space.

Enemies will be different colors but there are only a few types of them. You’ll get weird rocks that shoot bullets at you and a few other spaceships but in general, the enemies don’t change too much. Bosses are largely the same throughout the game. After two waves of enemies, you’ll face a circular enemy that stays in the center of the tube. The first few versions of this boss will have about four mounted guns that open up and release enemies or bullets. It will take numerous hits to kill them and you’ll work your way around the screen avoiding objects. After all mounted guns have been destroyed the level will end. The later stages will feature bosses with around eight mounted guns that launch sophisticated enemies making you watch their patterns before attacking. I didn’t have too much difficulty defeating any boss but there were two that stuck out to me. The first boss that was a challenge was a golden armored brain. Once you took down the armor, it was a purple brain that grew arms and waved them around. It was tough to navigate the screen while it chased you around.

To get to the final boss you had to avoid flaming balls of fire for about two minutes. Once you avoided all of the balls you were met with a brain in a giant glass tube. (What is it with shooters always featuring body parts? Do all evil aliens have a giant brain controlling them?) Anyway, you shoot up his mounted guns that blow strange steel bubbles and once you pick off all the guns, he turns into an eyeball that shoots lasers. It sounds very trippy but it’s predictable for a space shooter to feature all these strange enemies. This was tough to beat but after enough hits to the eye, he exploded and I beat the game. There was no true ending besides the small text that appeared that said “Peace was restored” but after that, you are warped to Pluto again and start over. I hate that! Astro Warrior for the Sega Master System did that too.

Gyruss is generous with extra lives as it felt like I was earning them once a level. You also have a large laser blast that deals massive damage to bosses. I saved it for fighting bosses and near the end of the game, I relied on it to take down multiple bosses. It was nice that they added a “superweapon” if you will but other than that your weapons didn’t change. You upgraded your single shot to a double-shot and that was it.

Memories:
I never played this game until this review.

Gyruss Review Score:

Gyruss is a unique shooter which is saying something in a decade that is famous for them. The cylinder tube perspective was fun to play but the lack of enemy diversity and simple challenge made the game easier than expected. Gyruss is a solid game overall but I wish there was a plot other than a few words of text.

Gyruss scores a 7 out of 10.

Do you remember when Gyruss first came out? What did you think of the tube perspective? What was your favorite planet to travel to or favorite boss? Were you able to beat the game or did it get the best of you? Let me know your memories and thoughts, I’d love to read the comments.

Watch Dogs 2 Review

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Following up on the moderate success of Watch Dogs, developer Ubisoft Montreal, and publisher Ubisoft released the sequel Watch Dogs 2 in 2016 for the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One. Gone was Aiden, and replaced by Marcus Holloway a hacker based in San Francisco. I enjoyed the original Watch Dogs, but Watch Dogs 2 put together a terrible cast of characters that ruined what could have been a solid second step in an up-and-coming franchise. What else could Watch Dogs 2 improve and were there any good qualities?

Watch Dogs 2 Plot:

The original Watch Dogs focused on Aiden, a veteran in the bank-robbing business as a hacker. He gets mixed up with a few other hackers and has his niece kidnapped in a story where he must fight and hack his way to rescue her. It was dark, mature, and kept me playing to see what would happen to Aiden on his quest for revenge. The pacing was adequate and the characters were interesting and kept my interest in what would happen to each of them.

Ubisoft decided to throw all of that out and introduce us to a cast of very wimpy, pathetic, and cringe-induced moments in their conversations with each other. The characters they created are the people that are extremely mentally weak, offended by everything, and claim that everything is “problematic”. In short, the cast is Millennials, which is bad enough but these Millennials are angry and upset at the “man” and politicians so they do what they do best! They use their phones for revenge!

All of this takes place in San Francisco, a very fun city to explore but I didn’t see any of the homeless population or doped-up subway stations filled with human feces that I’ve read about and watched on various news stories. Come on Ubisoft, commit to making the game realistic!

Anyway, the game takes place a year after the events of the first game. San Francisco has been chosen to be the next city to install ctOS which is an operating system that is quite intrusive to everyone that connects all devices together. Our protagonist is Marcus, who has been accused of a crime he did not commit by the ctOS system. Realizing that this system probably isn’t perfect, he teams up with a few other hackers who have formed a group called DeadSec. Let’s take a look at these…unique characters.

Marcus – He’s about the only character that I liked. He does all the dirty work for the crew and has a strong sense of getting stuff done. I can at least admire him for his hard work.

Sitara – Her parents are from India and she just wanted to be an artist but instead she takes her terrible fashion sense and begins the DeadSec blog and creates the logo for the team. She is also a DJ on the side. Rolls Eyes

Wrench – He’s the worst character out of the whole group. He’s so mentally weak that he hides behind a mask that he bought from Hot Topic because real people scare him and he can’t handle the real world. He comes off as that kid from school who tries so hard to be cool but yet no one likes them.

Possibly the worst video game character created.

Horatio – Cool name, and an okay guy. I don’t mind him as he appears to be one of the more “normal” hackers of DeadSec. Too bad for Horatio, he gets stabbed to death in the mission Eye For An Eye.

Josh – He’s quiet, weird, and very socially awkward. So much so that they reveal that he has Asperger’s Syndrome.

These characters just seem like the developers pictured what liberal Millennials look like and created them making it a dream come true for these people to play as themselves as they take down the man.

Okay for the actual story, once Marcus joins this crew they decide that they need to take down the company that created ctOS (Blume) by hacking into their servers and recruiting more hackers to join their cause through social media. The gang takes a break and hides in the desert at a festival where they meet “T-Bone”, yes that T-Bone from the first game. With help from T-Bone, they continue hacking into Blume servers and expose police officers and politicians who have become corrupt.

DeadSec discovers that Blume is trying to manipulate the entire world’s finances and create a monopoly in which Blume runs every single electronic data for every person. Marcus decides to take matters into his own hands and infiltrates a Blume office, hacks into the system, and turns over all the crimes to the police. In the end, Blume goes under investigation from the police putting an end to their plot for world domination.

Watch Dogs 2 Plot:

While Watch Dogs 2 completely changed the cast and tone of the story, they, fortunately, didn’t change too much when it came to gameplay. I liked the first Watch Dogs and was happy to see that many of the elements that made it fun were included in the second game. The world is still very open and explorable with tons of little hidden content to find. You’ll still be able to hack just about every electronic device and if you so desire you can still go on a rampage shooting up the streets of San Fran, although they shoot up plenty there, just in a different way.

Marcus can swim and apparently is an avid parkour enthusiast as he can hop and crawl up small objects. When Marcus isn’t running about the city he can hang out at DeadSec headquarters. I tried to stay away from that place as much as I could so I didn’t have to interact with the lame cast but I did enjoy the 3D printer. You can print out guns and other cool things that will help aid Marcus for a price. Perhaps the best upgrade is the fact that Marcus has numerous gadgets at his disposal including a remote-controlled car and a quadcopter.

Unfortunately, because of how much I hated the cast of characters, the overall theme and tone of the game, and the objectives like “increasing your follower count” on social media, I just was turned off by this whole experience. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I’m sure there are tons of people out there who loved everything about Watch Dogs 2, and that’s great for them but for me, I never connected to it and it was disappointing after enjoying the first game.

Memories:
I played this game a few times with my wife who enjoyed causing trouble. She’d free roam around and become a serial killer on the beach hunting hippies and party-goers who were cozying up around a fire. She became a sort of mystical killer who hid in the shadows and stalked her prey when they least expected it.

I assure you most days she is quite pleasant in real life, but it was fun to watch her cause chaos when she played.

Watch Dogs 2 Review Score:

Watch Dogs 2 was a critical step in making the Watch Dogs series a respected franchise but Ubisoft swung and missed. Its overall theme and tone are directed at angry Millenials who want to stick it to the man through social media. The weak cast of characters and the poor story would have been better made for a DLC spin-off than a full game. There are still plenty of elements of good gameplay in Watch Dogs 2 but the cringy cast makes it hard to enjoy.

Watch Dogs 2 scores a 5 out of 10.

Do you remember when Watch Dogs 2 first came out? Did you hate it or did you love it? What did you think of the cast of characters? What was something that Watch Dogs 2 did better than the first? Let me know your memories and thoughts, I’d love to read the comments.

Persona: Revelations Review

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If you love JRPGS, it’d be a shock if you hadn’t heard of the series “Persona” the wildly popular series made by Atlus. It’s a spinoff of the series Megami Tensei but has since gone on to produce numerous games and sequels. It all started in 1996 when Atlus developed and produced “Persona: Revelations” for the original PlayStation. The game follows a group of high schoolers as they get sucked into a parallel dimension and must make their way back to their own. Today, the Persona series is one of the most popular, but I wanted to see what started it all. Surprisingly, I didn’t care for the first entry.

Persona Revelations Plot:

The story begins as teens from a high school in Japan start summoning personas in a weird ritual game. I’m not sure they were expecting to actually open a portal or invite real spirits into their bodies but they succeeded and received “personas” which are parts of their personality hidden deep within themselves.

Let’s take a look at the characters:

Silent Protagonist – You play as him, which means you don’t speak!

Take a good luck at yourself in the mirror.

Mary – She has been sick most of her life and is considered delicate. It’s not uncommon for her to be in the hospital. She enjoys painting and is quiet.

Mark – He was changed to African-American in the North American release to make the cast more diverse. When Persona was re-released on the PSP, they decided to keep him white. Since he is black in the PS1 version, that’s the character I’ll show. He is a loudmouth who has a crush on Mary. He is a talented graffiti artist.

This is “black” Mark, “white” Mark is much different.

Nate – He’s the most level-headed member of the group and likes to keep his thinking logical. He might seem uptight and doesn’t have time for nonsense.

Brad – He makes jokes and is considered the class-clown. He likes attention and seeks it in various ways but is a skilled fighter.

Ellen – She enjoys summoning practices and is interested in magic.

Please enjoy your flight on American-Airlines.

Alana – She is selfish and doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings besides herself. Her grades suffer in school and she doesn’t seem to care.

Chris – He’s a loner student that has transferred in from another school.

Yuki – She was a trouble-maker as a child but has reformed and become one of the more mature members of the group.

As I mentioned earlier, the group is playing the summoning game persona when lightning strikes a few of them are knocked unconscious. During this time a strange phantom from within their conscious tells them he is giving them the powers of personas and that they will need them soon. After recovering in the nurse’s office at their school, they decide to visit their friend Mary who has been sick and bedridden in the local hospital for some time.

After making their way to the hospital they are told Mary has become very ill. The hospital suddenly comes under attack by demons that come from people’s inner dark thoughts. Using their personas, they defeat the demons and escape from the hospital. They visit Mary’s mother who informs them that the demons are on the loose because of SEBEC, a company she worked for. SEBEC was inventing a reality-altering machine called the Deva System. The group decides to fight SEBEC and bring reality back to normal.

As they set off to fight SEBEC they are joined by Mary, who has apparently recovered from her illness. They make their way to SEBEC and confront the leader, a man named Guido Sardenia. Before they can fight him, a small child in black appears and renders everyone unconscious. They awaken to a new world that is the perfect ideal place. The group continues to try and find Guido who reveals that he is trying to become a god through the Deva System.

They eventually defeat Guido but as he is dying reveals that Mary has been splintered throughout the realms and that the one they are traveling with is not the real Mary but an “ideal” version of her, hence her not being sick anymore. The little girl that appeared earlier is another version of Mary from her subconscious. To heal Mary they travel to the Sea of Souls and destroy the evil aspect of Mary who wants to destroy life on Earth. With the evil version of Mary destroyed, the other pieces of her form together to create the real Mary making her whole again and reversing the realms and different realities restoring everything to normal again.

Persona Revelations Gameplay:

I’m fairly good at JRPGs and RPGs but Persona was very tough to get into. It doesn’t go out of its way to explain what the heck you are doing or why. There are many submenus and elements that go into battles that you just need to discover or learn for yourself which is why I actually didn’t beat this game. I made it to a boss about 80% into the game in the Castle Mana and just couldn’t beat him. My levels are plenty high, but I simply don’t know how to enhance my personas or get new ones to improve my stats. I have the best equipment and weapons available but not understanding the depth of demon cards or changing personas stopped my progress. I’ll get into more of that later.

For a game released in 1996, Persona: Revelations looks solid. You’ll get an overhead view of the battles which look fine, but you’ll also play in first-person when you are navigating the dungeons, and believe me you’ll go through plenty of dungeons. Some you can figure out relatively easy, but others will take sheer luck to find your way out of. Often times, it’s too much work and makes Persona a chore to play sucking the fun out of the battles or story when you have to spend an hour and a half figuring out how to escape the dungeons.

Dungeons are an annoying part of the gameplay but so are the sound effects. In every battle, you’ll hear your personas crying out whenever they attack. It got so annoying that I turned the volume down so low I could barely hear anything. It seems that every action has some dumb sound, even the menu sounds make my ears bleed. Speaking of menus, this is where the game gets very complicated. Persona is very much a strategy RPG meaning you need to constantly play around with the weapons and equipment you are wearing. That’s fine, I can do that but then you need to constantly upgrade your persona or change them which I had no idea how to do. You can earn other personas (I think) during battles with random demons. Not every encounter with a demon will end in battle, but you can talk to them to do other things. Each demon has a different personality with joy, anger, fear, and interest leading the way. You need to figure out which action each of your characters can do to keep the demon from attacking you or even better helping you out. You can do things like telling a joke, dance, give a speech, flatter, and tons of other actions. It felt overwhelming especially when I didn’t know how to earn a demon card which is used to make a new persona. I’d ask the demons for a card every now and then and they’d all tell me that I wasn’t strong enough to be given a card yet. I would understand that if I hadn’t made my way through 80 percent of the game.

Demons can be anything, some of really cool like the typical demons you’d see from hell while others are really stupid like toilets. Each demon has a weakness and it’s up to you to find out whether you should physically attack, shoot them with your guns, use your personas, or type of magic. A lot goes into Persona and as I’ve mentioned it’s overwhelming at many points because it doesn’t feel like there’s a rhyme or reason to it.

When you aren’t fighting demons or crawling through dungeons you’ll be exploring the world map. It’s very simple and basic but the fact that there are three different aspects to the game is impressive. I won’t knock the game for adding different elements to it. Overall, I thought the presentation was above-average, I loved reading all the descriptions of things and seeing the characters. Their dialogue made me giggle numerous times mainly from how un-politically correct they are in their conversations. The word “retard” and “retarded” gets thrown around a lot and it made me wonder how this version that I played on the PS Classic didn’t get censored or changed due to the whiny gaming journalists of today.

Memories:
I never saw this game in stores but I do remember seeing tons of ads for Persona 2. This was a frustrating playthrough most of the time and I struggled to have “fun” playing it.

Persona Revelations Review Score:

Persona: Revelations is the first step in a massively successful series. It’s a rough first step as it has many ideas but doesn’t present them in a friendly way to the player for them to experience an understanding of them. Persona does a few things well like the character development, conversations, and interesting exploration of buildings but the overall experience is hurt by the overly-complicated battle system and persona combinations that are needed to beat this game. I really hope future Persona games aren’t like the first because I want to love this series but the first game isn’t very inviting.

Persona: Revelations scores a 6.9 out of 10.

Do you remember when Persona: Revelations first came out? What was the first Persona game you played? Did you find it as frustrating as I did? Were there any dungeons that you were lost in? Let me know your memories and thoughts, I’d love to read the comments.

Lost Planet Review

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Set on a frozen planet filled with snow pirates, monstrous wildlife, mech suits, and extreme conditions, Lost Planet: Extreme Condition was released for the Xbox 360 in 2006. Developed and published by Capcom, Lost Planet was originally scheduled to be an Xbox 360 exclusive before being ported to the PlayStation 3 two years later. This game is one that I would consider a “hidden gem” in the 360 library. I knew of it but never played it until this review. What made the game a “must play” and what elements could it improve on?

Lost Planet Plot:

I’m a sucker for a good story and Lost Planet has put effort into their story but unfortunately, it doesn’t come out as clear as it should. Characters are introduced with very little background information and motives. Overall, the characters are likable and I enjoy their designs, especially Luka who comes across as very cute but the story woven around the characters wasn’t easy to follow. I’ve read that some complained about the voice acting, but I thought it was enjoyable and have no complaints. I don’t expect every video game to be Metal Gear Solid and as long as the characters have personalities and good designs, I’m okay with B-Rated acting. Enough of talking about the story, and let’s talk about the story!

To understand the plot you’ll need to understand the setting.

Humankind had left Earth in search of colonizing new planets. They discovered E.D.N. III and decided to settle on it. At first, it was successful as they built homes and structures on the snow planet. Sure it was freezing and full of ice but it could be inhabited. Soon after establishing colonies, the humans were attacked by native wildlife, called Akrids. These huge insect-like monsters terrorized the settlers and forcing them to fight. Many were unsuccessful, and the rich decided to leave the planet but not before discovering that the bodies of these Akrid produced a very rare and valuable thermal energy source. If the Akrid could be slain, the thermal energy could be harvested. While the rich left the planet, the other settlers were forced to live in clans and various outposts eventually becoming snow pirates. That is where the story of Lost Planet begins.

You are Wayne, a snow pirate that is looking to exterminate a hive of Akrid that has taken over a domed city. Wayne and his father’s unit take on the Akrid but are cornered by a huge Akrid named “Green Eyes”. Wayne’s father sacrifices himself as Wayne escapes in his damaged VS (Vital Suit, think Mech suits) but freezes in the extreme conditions. His is revived 30 years later by a small crew of snow pirates that consists of Yuri, their leader and a scientist, Luka a big-breasted cute girl, and her brother Rick who is kind of a dweeb.

After being revived, Wayne has lost his memory and recalls nothing besides the final moments of the attack on the Green Eye. It is revealed that Wayne was able to survive the cold due to the attachment to his arm called a “harmonizer” that runs on the thermal energy found in the Akrids. Yuri informs Wayne that a giant company called “NEVAC” is on the planet looking to thaw it out and make it livable.

Wayne agrees to work for Yuri and during a mission, he encounters a woman named Basil who accuses Yuri of betraying her clan and killing her father. When Wayne goes to Yuri for answers, he disappears and is shown leaving with NEVAC soldiers. This is where the story starts to get tough to follow. Wayne’s memory recovers and instead of the “Green Eye” Akrid killing his father, he remembers that it was NEVAC that assassinated his father with a man named Bandero in charge. The Green Eye still exists, and Wayne defeats the monster, but his father was killed by NEVAC and not the Green Eye. (Weird, I know) Meanwhile, Rick has been taken captive after their bunker was raided by NEVAC.

A year passes and Luka and Wayne work together to pick off units of NEVAC. During one mission, they discover that Rick is still alive and has been taken under the wing by Basil. Basil helps Wayne capture a NEVAC soldier named Joe and begin to interrogate him. Joe tells him of NEVAC’s plan to heat the planet. The problem with NEVAC’s strategy is that it will kill all the Akrids and humans that are currently on the surface so NEVAC can retreat to the sky as thousands of innocent people die.

Joe sets up a meeting between Bandero and Wayne only to lead them into an ambush. It is revealed that Joe was working for Bandero all along but thought that no one would get killed. Wayne and Joe barely escape with their lives as Bandero threatens to kill them later. Bandero and Wayne battle to the death soon after with Wayne coming out on top. He finds Yuri quickly dying from torture but no before Yuri hands him a device that will unlock the full potential of his father’s VS that Wayne has been using. With the power unlocked Wayne takes on the head of NEVAC, a commander named Isenberg. Basil commits suicide in a massive explosion that gives Wayne more time. Wayne and Isenberg battle it out in their VS units before Wayne defeats him saving the humans on the surface. The extended power of the VS has again rid Wayne of his memory and he is seen collapsing just as Luka reaches him.

A year passes and Luka and Rick are finishing the work of Yuri. They launch small pods around the area that begin the melt the snow, turning the ice into soil and grass. Luka is talking to herself wishing that Wayne was here to see it. Just as she finishes her sentence, Wayne walks into the picture and begins speaking to her. His memory is slowly starting to return but he barely remembers who he is.

Lost Planet Gameplay:

For an Xbox 360 game that launched in 2006, Lost Planet looks amazing. There are games on the Xbox One and PS4 that don’t look like Lost Planet and Lost Planet is 14 years old at the time of this review! The game plays like an arcade shooter, and it reminded me of almost a rail shooter during the first few missions. You’ll have a target circle that you’ll move throughout the screen like in Time Crisis or any arcade shooters from the 90s. I have to comment on the explosion of barrels too, there is just something so satisfying about shooting them and watching them explode into a smooth fiery, and smokey mix. It all looked great.

You don’t have many games like this but it worked and it was unique. You can zoom in and make it a first-person shooter if you want but it’s best to play in the third-person. There are numerous weapons to pick up for Wayne with each being effective against Akrids, snow pirates, and NEVAC. My favorite ended up being the plasma rifle as it had infinite ammo and was very powerful. When you aren’t running around with Wayne you can hop in VS units during the missions. These are also fun and unique with customizable weapons for them. Sometimes in order to progress through a level or defeat a boss, you’ll need a VS.

Speaking of Boss fights, they were my favorite aspect of Lost Planet. Each one was unique and each one challenging in their own way. The Akrid fights reminded me of the monster you’ll face in the series Dead Space with weak points being highlighted yellow. Every mission ends in a boss fight and the bosses have a life meter to let you know how you’re doing. I loved the fights and thought they were fun even when I died a few times before figuring it out. I miss boss fights in modern video games, so to see Lost Planet highlight that aspect made me enjoy my experience even more.

The controls for Wayne were fine but I feel they could have input a sprint button or a duck/roll feature. I said this game felt like a rail shooter, and it does because you are Wayne running at a single pace without ducking or rolling. It’s not bad, just different but I do wish they included some type of way for Wayne to avoid bullets besides hiding behind objects. While you’ll battle tons of fun enemies, you’ll also battle the “clock”. Wayne can take tons of damage as long as he has thermal energy. You typically start with 999 units of thermal energy but it is always draining. You can reach up to 10,000 units of energy but throughout every mission, you can pick up energy very easily by destroying water-tower like units of energy or killing Akrids that have energy seeping out of their corpses. So what does this energy do for you? Well, it protects you from the cold and helps heal you when hurt. Your health bar can reach zero but if you have energy, it will automatically heal you. All your actions suck energy from your stock so if you are jumping or are in a VS, the energy will drain faster as opposed to you just running. If you run out of energy, your life bar will deplete from the cold and if you are killed by an enemy you won’t be revived which results in a “Mission Failed”. You might think this element of gameplay causes anxiety to constantly search for energy but it doesn’t. It goes down at a slow rate and unless you are strolling through the snow and admiring the wildlife you won’t be in danger of running out.

After every mission, you’ll get a cut scene that lasts a few minutes advancing the story. I loved this as it was a little reward for a job well done. Even though the story was confusing, I always was excited to see what was coming next. Before you begin the next mission, the game lays out a nice objectives menu telling you what to expect in the next level and what you need to accomplish. Again, it felt like a video game from the 80s or 90s but made in the mid-2000s. It was great.

Memories:

I vaguely remember seeing commercials for Lost Planet but completely forgot about it until I picked it up from a used video game store. I even discovered it has two sequels!

Lost Planet Review Score:

Story-telling isn’t the strong point in Lost Planet, but it doesn’t have to be. The arcade-like action and gorgeous graphics for the early Xbox 360 game should be more than enough to keep you playing. You’ll have plenty of fun taking on huge bosses and listening to the unique cast of characters ramble on about whatever confusing story plot they are arguing about. The inclusion of VS units adds another layer to gameplay and keeps combat fresh. This is one game you shouldn’t pass up, it’s unique and has plenty to offer for anyone trying to find a game that went under the radar.

Lost Planet: Extreme Condition scores an 8.9 out of 10.

Do you remember when Lost Planet first came out? What did you think of the plot and were you able to follow it? Did you like battling as Wayne or in the VS more? What other hidden gems are there on the Xbox 360? Let me know your memories and thoughts, I’d love to read the comments.

Black Belt Review

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The Sega Master System had just been released in North America when Sega developed and published Black Belt in 1986. The side-scrolling beat ’em up would feature martial artist Riki on his quest to rescue Kyoko from his evil rival Wang. If you are a fan of the series “Fist of the North Star”, Black Belt is actually the first entry in the series, it was just localized and changed a bit for Western audiences. Would Black Belt earn the status of “master” or would the game fall on its face?

Black Belt Plot:

From the manual:

“You’re a BLACK BELT master – one of the best – and you’ll have plenty of chances to prove it.

KYOKO, your beautiful Japanese girlfriend, has gotten herself into a beautiful Japanese mess (No, not Bukkake, and if you don’t know what that is DON’T LOOK IT UP) In order to rescue her, you must first get through a tireless army of enemies.

They’re mean. They’re like machines. And some of them are armed. With whips, knives, swords, even flamethrowers. Plus your arch rival, Wang is as skilled a Master as you are.

Fight smart. And fight hard. Your only weapon is your well-trained, fine-tuned, martial arts body.

You’re Riki. The good guy in the white gi. Everyone else is the enemy. There are the little guys. Like Chinese Kung Fu men, wrestlers, Jujitsu men in red, the Eagles, the Ninja, and the dark women.

Then there are the big guys. Like Ryu, Kung Fu master. Hawk, a whip, and knife slinger. Gonta the Jujitsu man in black. Oni, the Ninja with a red whip and red sword. Rita, the flamethrower. And finally, Wang, the Kung Fu master with the same training as yours.

As Riki makes his way through each level defeating the gangs and bosses, he reaches Wang in a one-on-one showdown. After defeating him, you are treated to a cute little scene of Riki picking up Kyoko and the screen says:

“You’ve finally defeated the boss and temporarily brought peace to the world.

Now with the experience, you’ve gained and Kyoko’s love to sustain you, continue to battle onward to an even more rousing victory.”

Black Belt Gameplay:

Black Belt is a very early Sega Master System game. I’m not entirely sure but it could be a launch title in North America. Either way, it shows that it’s an early game in the presentation. There are no cut scenes or prologue before starting the game. You are greeted with a blue screen that says “Black Belt” with Riki next to it.

When you start the game you’ll have three lives. I’ll get this out of the way now and say there was no way in hell I was beating this game on my own without using an Action Replay code. I can beat the first level but after that, I didn’t stand a chance against the end level bosses. Each level is played the same way. You’ll walk to the right with Riki as a single type of enemy attacks you from both the front and the back. The first stage looks like strong men in a Russian circus. The enemies that continue to attack you are very easy to defeat taking just a single punch or kick to defeat them. When you do defeat them their body explodes into tiny chunks of square sprites. It’s hilarious and makes Riki seem like some type of Super Human with insane powers. After defeating a few hordes of these easy opponents you’ll face off against a mini-boss. I applaud Black Belt for these fights because every one of them was unique in their character design and strategy.

When you defeat the hordes and mini-bosses, you’ll then face off one-on-one against a major boss. This turns Black Belt from a side-scrolling beat ’em up, to a genuine fighting game. You each have a health meter that will show how you’re doing against each other. These fights are by far the toughest. Ryu was a tough son of a gun after the first level but you’ll face other bosses that are just as unique. I thought Hawk was easy but then came an extremely bouncy sumo-wrestler. The toughest end-level boss was Rita. She was tough to damage and I didn’t exactly know how I defeated her because I’d hit her a bunch of times but sometimes I’d damage her while other times I wouldn’t.

After defeating Rita, you immediately will face Wang. He will attack you every chance he gets but I thought Wang was going to be much harder. (LOL) Each time you defeat a boss you’ll be treated to a short sequence of Riki furiously punching or kicking away at their bodies until they explode or fall down. It was a cool thing to see and I’m sure gamers back in 1986 thought it was the greatest thing ever.

Black Belt has music in the stages, but they are cheery like you are going on a Sunday stroll, not kicking a bunch of ninjas in the face. The music didn’t work but that’s a small complaint. The game is rather short, if you are an expert you can beat it in twenty minutes. If you suck, you’ll get your butt kicked by Ryu in level one. Practice makes perfect and you’ll need to practice to get good at this game. It’s not a special game, but I’m sure it kept Sega gamers amused.

Memories:
I’ve just seen the terrible artwork before but never played the game until now.

Black Belt Review Score:

Black Belt is an extremely early entry in the Sega Master System library. Graphics have not aged well and the music doesn’t fit but there are some gameplay and ideas that are worthy of your attention. The way the game shifts from a side-scrolling beat ’em up to a one-on-one fighting game is impressive and the sequences where you finish off a boss is fun to watch. You’ll definitely want to play this game for the historical aspect of it but don’t expect to get hooked or even get past the first level.

Black Belt scores a 6.4 out of 10.

Do you remember when Black Belt first came out? Which level or boss did you get stuck on? What did you think of the exploding enemies? Did you know this game was connected to the Fist of the North Star series? Let me know your memories and thoughts, I’d love to read the comments.